Life has its twists and turns.  Some seem to have all the luck and others seem to be given the rough route even as children.  Chris Lee is one of those that had it hard right from the start.  But, it's how you live the path that makes the difference. You can choose to be the victim or you can choose to be the survivor.  Chris became a survivor.  Our video highlights his journey and also the path of a young boy whose life was transformed  by therapy.  Check out our video!

The words of Life Crisis worker, Linda Fehrmann, resonate with deep compassion and sincerity.  She, too, is a survivor of suicide.  Her son took his life in 2000.  She began attending our SOS groups to try and understand the tragedy, to obtain some comfort from others who were also struggling to cope with the loss. Her journey soon took on a life of its own.  She started a parent support group for those who had lost sons/daughters to suicide.  The groups are held at St. Luke's Hospital.  In 2004, Linda went back to school to obtain her Master's degree in counseling.  She did her practicum at our Life Crisis program, graduated in 2007 and continued to work at LCS on a part-time basis, both as a LCS worker and a SOS  group facilitator.   About 4 - 5 years ago, she formed a second SOS group in St. Charles at the Baue Community Center.

In the shocking aftermath of the Connecticut tragedy, the question of “Why” immediately surfaces.  Why did this happen?  How could someone possibly take the lives of 20 precious and innocent, young children?  Only the shooter knew what was circling in his mind.  Had he revealed any clues to his violent thoughts?  Would his mother have been able to recognize the clues, if there were any?  Hopefully with time and an exhaustive investigation, we can glean some answers in order to prevent a tragedy of this sort from happening again.

But, one thing is certain –

This week, an article by David Brooks was published in the New York Times titled “The Opportunity Gap.”  The article speaks volumes about the inequality of opportunities for children growing up today in America.  Both money and education have played a significant role in what we know about our kids today as opposed to kids nearly 35 years ago.  In 1972, kids from poor and wealthy homes were invested in extracurricular activities, whereas today a lot of activities such as sports, clubs and church events are heavily weighted for families with money.  Outcomes have shown that poorer kids are suffering.  They are more detached, depressed and pessimistic.  They are less likely to get involved with community service, and are falling behind in school. 

Brooks charges his readers to understand that socioeconomic norms have changed. Between the political silos; the competitive and condensed job market; and non-traditional modern family structures, equal opportunity is harder to comprehend.

Stress can easily build up.  When talking to clients about managing stress, I ask them to imagine that their  house has a leaky roof with a bucket underneath to catch the rain that comes in.  We certainly can't control the weather.  And in life, too, there is only so much that we can control.  Sometimes things are going well, the temperature is sunny and mild and without much effort we feel relatively peaceful and well.  Our buckets sit under the leak in the roof, but nothing really comes in and our bucket has a lot of extra room.  But at other times the weather can be a downpour; so much coming in on us at once that the buckets we have quickly fill up, and if we're not careful, can easily overflow.  Stress and the build-up of life's challenges seem to be much like this.

 

 For most of us, change is hard. We might find ourselves seeking self improvement, wanting to end an old habit or create a new one, or engaging in therapy because we’d like our current feelings and circumstances to be different. But when we’re faced with following through with the steps involved in change, we avoid, procrastinate or give up altogether. This is common. I’ve been fortunate to be invited to join in the journeys of my clients, and something I’ve noticed is that instead of changing, we sometimes decide that we are more comfortable with the discomfort we are familiar with.

Larry Marshall, Jr., LPC, has created a children’s storybook entitled, The Pig in Your Head,  to address the concept of delaying immediate gratification.  In the story, the pig symbolizes the pursuit of gluttony and greed with its excessive appetite, sending the message that chasing your wants all the time is not such a happy way to live.  Bill, the young boy and main character, soon realizes that he needs to manage this pig. The hope is that the concept of bossing the pig, who is in need of direction, will appeal to the child’s inner caretaker or parent.  

A Self-Injury Group for youth is now starting on Wednesday, March 21st (not the 14th as originally planned)  from 7 - 8:30 pm at our West County location, 12755 Olive, Suite 115, Creve Coeur, MO. 63141 This group is FREE to youth under the age of 20 who reside in St. Louis County.  Please contact Nancy Mesey, LPC, at 314.802.2593 if you'd like more information or would like to join.